This is a topic I find myself consistently coaching men and women in the most productive way to manage this situation. I have first hand, second hand, hell even third hand knowledge in this sensitive matter. In most cases women have been known to act with this behavior. But I’ve known a couple of men that conducts this behavior as well. This is a concern; you can say even a peeve I have had for over a little more than a decade. Strong men and women fall prey to this response when they find out that their partner has been deceptive. It’s the first reaction, many go for that immediate anger and want to start fighting or taking verbal jabs at your partner, their extra curricular activity friend. If your partner, long-term committed partner, spouse, significant other, whatever they are makes the choice to engaged in extracurricular activities with another person please , please, please, how can be any clearer, do not contact the other person that they are having the affair, having a additional outside relationship with, casual sex. Whatever the circumstances do not harass, threaten, text, call, or even the biggest one I have a problem with is bring physical harm to that person. He or she is irrelevant to the relationship that stands before you and your committed partner. I totally understand and have on good authority what pain you bear when you’re hurt by your partner.
You become paralyzed when you are deceived by your partner or spouse. It is detrimental to a person’s confidence and self esteem. They may feel intimacy rejections or one or the both of you have grown apart, and you don’t know the words to formulate help this matter. I remember when I was younger I had this fairly new relationships with a handsome military guy. Oh, I daydreamed about him sweeping me off my feet. We dated for months before his naval deployment. He would write me letters and send me pictures and items from various countries along his destination path. I waited 9 month for his return. But before he would return this young lady came to my place of employment and asked if I was Drake’s girlfriend. I played the game of the who, what, where’s. Well low and behold she stated that he was her man and that he told her that I was his cousin from NYC and he had to spend his last night with me because I was going back. She did some comparison questions about letters and poems that he sent and some other things. By then I have had enough and asked her what she wants from me. I refused to fight or argue, I just asked her one thing could she not tell him that we spoke about this. I would like for him to return and talk with him face to face. She stated oh she can’t wait that long, as soon he calls her she was going to curse him out she could not believe he cheated on her. (I had to laugh to myself and thought you met him 15 second after me.)I didn’t get in her face, nor did I yell it was so matter-of-factly I couldn’t let her know that my whole world was crushing inside. It was not her fault I don’t know what the situation was between them and I didn’t want to know. I called my best friend and we went out after work to make me feel better. Needless to say, it didn’t.